Sin City H4 · past hash
SCH4 Talk Like a Pirate Hash #1469 - Oktoberfest Zinzinnati RDR Weekend
- When
- Saturday, September 19 · 4 PM – 8 PM
What: The first-ever Red Dress/Talk Like a Pirate Hash/OKtoberfest Hash
When: September 19th, 4:00pm
Where: 4th and Plum Apartment Party Room
What to wear: Red Dress, pirate clothing, or mix and match like the late, great Dolly Parton’s Coat of Many Colors
Why: So drunk, German-for-a-Day Muggles stare at us like we’re a Rubik's Cube with one too many colors.
Number of highly visible Beer Nears: 2-3
Number of miles: Under 3 for walkers; over 3 for runners.
Hares: Herpie the Gay Licker
Hash Cash: $8.00 ($4.00 non-drinkers)
Shiggy Level: Easy but interesting (the shortest distance between two points is boring) until the turkey/eagle split off after the final Beer Near, where runners may reexamine their life choices.
What to Bring: All the usual shit including virgins, whistle, vessel, stories about that one time in Band Camp, English to Pirate Dictionary, Una to English dictionary, recent picture of Hot Tub in case this turns into a Silver Alert Hash, singing voice, thirst for mild adventure and crappy beer.
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Also something FOOD to share. Yes, that means your STDs don’t count as sharing, Herpe!
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Frequently asked Questions:
Q: Can I get arrested for drag in public by wearing a red dress in Ohio?
A: My guess is no. But I’m not a lawyer, so maybe don’t lip-sync a Cher and Bette Midler medley in the middle of Oktoberfest or do the Iconic Flash Dance scene in The Genius of Water on Fountain Square, just to be sure.
Q: I’m in witness protection for testifying against the German Mafia. Is this hash for me?
A: Um, no.
Q: I like my beer-nears in a garbage bag near the river like I’m an alcoholic bridge troll or Matt Foley after his 3rd divorce. Is this hash for me?
A: Again, no.
Q: I have attention deficit disorder, as in people are not paying enough attention to me. Is this hash for me?
A: Short answer: yes.
Long answer: yyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssss!
Q: I'm an overcompetitive wank trying to relive my glory days of high school cross-country; will I be able to snare the hares?
A: Una’s old. I’m old and broken, and Herpie can only carry one of us at a time. So, unless you’re a snail zombie, probably.
Q: After Final Beer Near, can I scooter back dodging cars, potholes, staggering Germans and street car tracks?
A: Sure, just make sure your organ donor card is up to date. Hot Tub could use a new liver.
Q: Am I getting too old for this $h!t?
A: Age is just a number. Technically, for Hot Tub, it’s almost 3 numbers, and he’s still doing it.
Q: Will there be a bunch of old hashers there?
A: We’re hoping tapioca pudding and stale hard candy at the Bear Nears will bring them out, but at 4:00 we will be competing with Denny’s Early Bird Special and a Saturday Matlock Marathon on the Weather Channel.
When: September 19th, 4:00pm
Where: 4th and Plum Apartment Party Room
What to wear: Red Dress, pirate clothing, or mix and match like the late, great Dolly Parton’s Coat of Many Colors
Why: So drunk, German-for-a-Day Muggles stare at us like we’re a Rubik's Cube with one too many colors.
Number of highly visible Beer Nears: 2-3
Number of miles: Under 3 for walkers; over 3 for runners.
Hares: Herpie the Gay Licker
Hash Cash: $8.00 ($4.00 non-drinkers)
Shiggy Level: Easy but interesting (the shortest distance between two points is boring) until the turkey/eagle split off after the final Beer Near, where runners may reexamine their life choices.
What to Bring: All the usual shit including virgins, whistle, vessel, stories about that one time in Band Camp, English to Pirate Dictionary, Una to English dictionary, recent picture of Hot Tub in case this turns into a Silver Alert Hash, singing voice, thirst for mild adventure and crappy beer.
*****************************************************************************************************
Also something FOOD to share. Yes, that means your STDs don’t count as sharing, Herpe!
********************************************************************************************************************
Frequently asked Questions:
Q: Can I get arrested for drag in public by wearing a red dress in Ohio?
A: My guess is no. But I’m not a lawyer, so maybe don’t lip-sync a Cher and Bette Midler medley in the middle of Oktoberfest or do the Iconic Flash Dance scene in The Genius of Water on Fountain Square, just to be sure.
Q: I’m in witness protection for testifying against the German Mafia. Is this hash for me?
A: Um, no.
Q: I like my beer-nears in a garbage bag near the river like I’m an alcoholic bridge troll or Matt Foley after his 3rd divorce. Is this hash for me?
A: Again, no.
Q: I have attention deficit disorder, as in people are not paying enough attention to me. Is this hash for me?
A: Short answer: yes.
Long answer: yyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssss!
Q: I'm an overcompetitive wank trying to relive my glory days of high school cross-country; will I be able to snare the hares?
A: Una’s old. I’m old and broken, and Herpie can only carry one of us at a time. So, unless you’re a snail zombie, probably.
Q: After Final Beer Near, can I scooter back dodging cars, potholes, staggering Germans and street car tracks?
A: Sure, just make sure your organ donor card is up to date. Hot Tub could use a new liver.
Q: Am I getting too old for this $h!t?
A: Age is just a number. Technically, for Hot Tub, it’s almost 3 numbers, and he’s still doing it.
Q: Will there be a bunch of old hashers there?
A: We’re hoping tapioca pudding and stale hard candy at the Bear Nears will bring them out, but at 4:00 we will be competing with Denny’s Early Bird Special and a Saturday Matlock Marathon on the Weather Channel.